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Out of tune

Updated: Mar 31, 2022



s to th

e untuned radio, to the out of

tune singer, to the pitch imperfect, to the out of focus photo, to the wonky horizon line, to the unbalanced, to the unhinged,

to the misfit, the clashing outfit, to the skew-whiff glasses, to the unschooled, the untrained eye, to the uninitiated, to those not in the know, to those who 'can't dance', to those who 'can't draw', to the shading that went outside the line, to the playing it by ear, to those who are winging it, the ad-libbers, making it up as you go along, to the out of place, out of my depth, awkward, to those from the wrong side of the tracks, to those who 'haven't got a clue', to the wayward, to the out of control, to the over the top, over the hill, to the outré, to the in-yer-face, to those who over-step the mark, to the thin skinned, to the accident-prone, to the misguided, to the man with a smudge of chocolate on his chin, to the crooked tooth, to the hot potato, to the undone hem, to the woman in the shop who had forgotten to change out of her nightdress (me again), to the chipped china cup, to the dripping tap, to the leak in the roof, to the forgotten now overflowing bath, to the water-damaged recipe book, to the smudged just done nail varnish, to the slip of the tongue, to the moth-hole, to the undone, to the joke that did not go down so very well after all, to the going the wrong way and the wrong way down, to the malaprop, maladroit, the propped up drunk against the leaking gutter, to the crying, to the bad hair day, to those who took their eye off the ball, to the spinning plates now smashing, to that lost item that frequently nags, to the broken glass, to the spill, to the spilt milk, to the melting 99 with a flake, to the flake, to the jam side down, to the miss-spelled.

Here's to biting off more than you can chew,

to the fly

in the ointment,

to the out of depth, to the faux-pas, to the writing that doesn't make sense, to 'bad' punctuation, to the misspent youth, to the uncouth, the awol, the bad time keepers, to the no-shows, to the no help whatsoevers, to the inappropriate, to saying the wrong thing, to the falling short, to the misguided, the misunderstood and the misunderstanding, to the irreverent, gauche and clumsy, to the foot in the mouth, to the graceless, to the blunt pencil and the loose canon, to the dog with a limp, to the wardrobe 'failure', to another rejection letter, to the jilted, to the turned down, to the badly chosen lovers, to the dead ends, to the snubbed, to the silenced, to the sentenced, to the sectioned, to the escapee, to the borderline, to the beating around the bush, to the bird in the bush, the black sheep, to letting the cat out of the bag, to the baggage you carry around with you, to the bolted horse, to the gate still open, to the fools and their errands, to the fallen, to the falling, to the dropped lolly. The dropped rocket lolly.


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